The Tour de France kicks off tomorrow in Monaco, and after careful discussion with our top road racing experts we've come up with our rock solid predictions for the 2009 event:
- Lance Armstrong, super domestique and well known selfless bike racing philanthropist will work tirelessly for Contador. Providing slipstream, constant food and liquid and even at one point serenading the team leader with gentle Texan folk songs when the Spaniard appears to be flagging.
- Cadel Evans wins by a landslide. Suprising everyone with his formidable attacking style of riding and his laid back post race attitude.
- Mark Cavendish, "bored with the lack of competition" does away with his lead out train dismissing them as unnecessary. He wins no sprints but makes for interesting live interviews in which he berates his peers, his old coaches and the British tendency to say 'sorry' inappropriately.
- Andy Schleck will ride a perfect race and everyone will say that he is a future Tour winner (this prediction good for the next eight Tours).
- The dopers will have found the next level of blood doping. It will allow the riders to race undetected, at a level that doesn't arouse suspicion, without affecting over all performance.
- The lack of radio causes mass confusion on the stages where it is not used. Riders take wrong turnings, two Quikstep riders are never found again.
- Cadel Evans wins by a landslide. Suprising everyone with his formidable attacking style of riding and his laid back post race attitude.
- Mark Cavendish, "bored with the lack of competition" does away with his lead out train dismissing them as unnecessary. He wins no sprints but makes for interesting live interviews in which he berates his peers, his old coaches and the British tendency to say 'sorry' inappropriately.
- Andy Schleck will ride a perfect race and everyone will say that he is a future Tour winner (this prediction good for the next eight Tours).
- The dopers will have found the next level of blood doping. It will allow the riders to race undetected, at a level that doesn't arouse suspicion, without affecting over all performance.
- The lack of radio causes mass confusion on the stages where it is not used. Riders take wrong turnings, two Quikstep riders are never found again.
